Rough Roads
by WordsLeftBehind
Summary: When Lavi passes away, grief is left behind. Lenalee was left the task of cleaning out her lovers home, but in the process, she finds something even worse than her own emotions. (AKA: A short angst fanfiction of Lavi and Lenalee.)


**A/N: This was hard to write... RageAgainstTheNormal (from AO3) was my beta! Please R &R!**

They told her that it was a car accident, that the wind and snow made it hard to see-that it was bad luck. It didn't matter, though; he was gone and she was staring at his apartment door, feeling the key tremble in her hand.

She remembered how they called the accident horrific on the news as she unlocked the door. She heard a click as she recalled the events. How her heart started beating faster, and how she lept out of her chair when they spoke of the passengers inside the cars. The door creaked open, far different from the screech of her brother's screen door as she ran outside, holding her phone to her ear with one hand, clutching the car keys in the other.

Lavi's apartment was just as she remembered; messy, but in a peculiar way. He always knew where everything was, and made sure to return it to its spot, but he had far too much stuff. All his books sat where he left them, waiting for his eventual return. A return he wouldn't make.

A car started outside, and Lenalee stopped to listen to it drive away. It sounded slow and peaceful, no one ran after it desperately asking the driver what happened the way Komui had. No one asked them to wait. No one sprinted back inside the house, causing the screen door to shriek in protest as they drove away.

The window was still open, and the faint breeze only accentuated how normal it was. The apartment was untouched; it still smelled like old books and tea, and it still had that library feel to it. She could almost imagine him napping on the couch or reading a book in his favorite chair.

Lenalee forced herself to start moving again, taking care to close the door behind her. She walked across the room, stepping around books she vaguely recognized. Many of them were hardcover books. Some of the older ones had intricate golden designs lining them. She would have to take them to Bookman sometime, he was too busy with arranging things and grieving to come here himself. He could, but Lenalee knew that he wasn't ready. She felt the same.

She stopped in front of Lavi's bedroom door. It was closed, as always. Lavi always insisted that closing it kept the heat in. Lenalee told him that he was ridiculous every time he mentioned it. He would laugh, despite her words, and make up an equally ridiculous concept to prove himself correct. Lenalee got sick of listening to him once, and leaned forward and kissed him. He finished talking, and dramatically winked at her, before murmuring ' _You'll never shut me up,_ ' into the kiss.

She opened the door, slowly, carefully. Two walls were covered in bookshelves, one was dedicated to his 'picture wall' which was a series of pictures of places he wanted to go to, and his bed was up against the final wall. Lenalee looked at the wall-New Zealand and Easter Island stuck out, but a few pictures of her had invaded the space as well. One of her smiling after Anita did her hair, another of both Lavi and her in front of the zebras at the zoo, and a third of Kanda, and Lenalee drinking tea together. Although Lavi's dresser was bare, the bookshelves had small artifacts from his travels with Bookman here and there. There was what appeared to be a monkey's skull being used as a paperweight, and an intricate dagger dusted with rust sat on his bedside table. She saw other items, including a block of stone with faded symbols carved into it.

Lenalee looked at the books. Many of them were in languages she didn't know. She stared at the old lettering, remembering how she made a game of trying to figure out how many languages Lavi spoke. Although she never found out, Lavi used to joke and tell her that he spoke them all.

She spotted a Chinese book, and pulled it out. ' _Weaving in Societies around the World.'_ It was plain, and Lenalee didn't really care for weaving, but she put it in her bag anyways. Lavi's true possessions were his books. He wasn't one for notes or pictures, his photographic memory made them pointless. But he read books constantly, so Lenalee asked Bookman if she could have a few of Lavi's old books.

' _Puns to tell to friends,_ ' caught her eye as well, the book likely accounted for half of Lavi's terrible jokes. He made jokes about asking her out all the time. Their first date was barely a date. Lavi bought a pizza and took it to her house. She opened it, only to find that ' _Will you go out with me? Or is this too cheesy?_ ' was written in shaky, black sharpie on the inside of the lid. Lenalee remembered staring at the joke, on the verge of facepalming, and looking up to see Lavi sporting a self satisfied grin. She said yes to both questions, but felt tempted to tell him that he was an idiot.

Lenalee sighed, and decided that there were few other books that she could read in the room. She turned to leave, but noticed something on Lavi's bedside table. A small, black box. A ring box. Lenalee stepped towards the box, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Lenalee picked the box up, and opened it.

Small diamonds lined a silver band, with one, slightly larger, black diamond in the center. The tears were falling now, leaving warm tracks on her face. Lenalee felt lost. Lavi had been part of her life for years, and now he was gone. She could have spent her life with him, no, she would have spent her entire life with him. Things were working out perfectly. Her dream come true, but now Lavi was gone. He disappeared from her life just as suddenly as her parents did when she was a child, and like her parents, he was irreplaceable.

For the second time in her life, Lenalee was left with no one but Komui.


End file.
